When I was 13, I went to a party where there was a boy who I liked, but he didn't like me. Everythi

That kiss was a blessing in desguise but it was not an abuse because an abuse is a well prepared act and scene before it happens.

Good morning. It doesn't sound like an abuse situation at all. Abuse situations imply premetitation and conscious intention, not a quick reflex to avoid damage. It soulds like a very common children situation with no further importance. If you feel you need further talk, you can contact a psychologist to talk about that situation. Greetings.

Hi! If you’re still in a relationship with this guy and you still think about him, you can talk to him. It’s better to go through a little uncomfortable moment than to suffer because you keep thinking about it. If you’re not in a relationship with him now, reflect on how the relationship was back then and whether he valued it. But I’ll tell you not to worry about that; when we’re adolescents, we do things that we don’t understand in adulthood because our brains are not fully developed. The point is: you liked a guy, you experienced a perfect moment, and you tried. If you don’t always chase after every guy, that doesn’t define who you are—it depends on the meaning you assign to it.

Thank you for sharing this memory. let's be clear: this was not abuse. Abuse involves intentional harm, coercion, or lack of consent. In your case, it was an accidental situation caused by external pressure, not a deliberate act. It's understandable that you're overthinking it, but from what you describe, there was no wrongdoing on your part. If these thoughts are causing you distress, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you process them and ease your worries. Kindly, Lucia.

In answer to your question, first it would be good to know when happened what you are explaining. Keep in mind that we cannot change the past and worrying about something that has no solution will not help you at all. If you explain that it was something unforeseen (unplanned) where you were in the dark and could not see and it has not been repeated, it is most likely not abuse.
However, if thoughts about what happened keep coming up and bothering you, it may help to talk to a professional. I hope I have been able to help you.

Hi! Thanks for sharing this, i appreciate your vulnerability, and let it be known this topic is really important.
I want to say im sorry for your experience, seems like you are ruminating about it and that it left a painful memory. I think situations like this can be really confusing for both parts. Whats important here is that you had no intention to force the other person even if you might accidentally have. The fact that you´re able to recognize what the other person could have felt is very empathetic. As i said, this situation seems unclear and confusing, but the takeaway is, you now can use it to learn and be more mindful. If maybe possible, have a talk with the person, maybe that way you could apologize or get closure.
Best of luck!!

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of worry and confusion about something that happened a long time ago. From what you’ve described, it seems like the situation was very chaotic and accidental — a playful game turned into an unexpected moment because of the sudden push from your friend. It doesn’t sound like there was any intention to harm or cross boundaries.

It’s also completely normal for memories like this to feel blurry, especially when emotions are involved. The fact that you’re reflecting on it with so much care shows that you’re a thoughtful and empathetic person. From what you’ve shared, this doesn’t sound like abuse. It sounds like an awkward, unintentional moment that happened in the confusion of the game.

If these feelings are weighing heavily on you, talking to someone you trust or a mental health professional can help bring you some peace of mind. It’s okay to process confusing memories, and you’re not alone in feeling this way.

Thank you for sharing something so intimate and for the courage to open up about this doubt that clearly causes you discomfort. The first thing I want to tell you, out of respect and empathy, is that it is totally valid to feel confusion in the face of memories that mix intense emotions, ambiguous situations and the perspective of time.

When we look back, especially at stages such as adolescence, it is common for us to try to reinterpret what we have experienced with the resources we have today. In your story there is no intention to harm, no abusive behaviour, but a confusing situation in a context of play, with a lot of physical and emotional pressure. It is understandable that you question what happened, but from what you describe, there does not seem to be an action that has as its basis an intention to hurt, force or violate someone.

In cognitive psychology, such thoughts - such as constant doubt, guilt or fear of having done harm - may be fuelled by cognitive distortions such as over-responsibility or judgmental hindsight. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, invites us to acknowledge with compassion what we feel, without judging ourselves out of fear or guilt, and to look at those experiences with a kinder perspective towards our past selves.

The important thing is that today you are reflecting from a place of awareness and emotional ethics, and that speaks of your integrity. If this memory causes you a lot of discomfort, being able to explore it in a therapeutic space can help you to process it with more clarity, care and support.

Thank you for sharing this memory — it's completely understandable that it stayed with you and that you're trying to make sense of it. What you described sounds like a confusing and unexpected situation that happened when you were very young. At age 13, you're still developing emotionally and physically, and it's normal to have difficulty processing and interpreting experiences that feel unclear or morally complex, especially in retrospect.

At first glance, I´d define this experience in terms of accident rather than abuse. It's very important to highlight that intent is a central factor when we talk about abuse. Abuse involves a clear intention to cross boundaries, cause harm, or exert power over someone else. From your description, there’s no indication that you intended to force anything on the other person or cause harm.

You were in a situation where things were happening quickly, in the dark, under pressure, and it sounds like you didn’t fully understand or control the circumstances. It's okay to have mixed feelings about it, especially if you're looking back with the moral lens and awareness of an adult. But based on what you’ve shared, this does not sound like abuse, it sounds like a confusing and possibly embarrassing moment, but not one where you acted with harmful intent.

What’s more important now is how you feel about the memory and what meaning it holds for you. How self-judgemental you are in this context. From the outside, it looks like an accident, but the internal reality may feel quite different. This situation can be seen through completely different lens depending on how much time you spend thinking about this, how this memory makes you feel, how it influences your behaviour in the present, the self-control you may be try to exhibit etc.

If it’s still causing guilt or distress, that’s worth exploring further in therapy — not because you've done something wrong, but because you deserve clarity, peace of mind, and self-compassion.

Hola, por lo que cuentas, parece que fue una situación accidental durante un juego, sin intención de hacer daño ni de forzar nada. El hecho de que giraras la cabeza puede haber sido por comodidad o un reflejo, no necesariamente indica que hayas abusado de él. No tienes por qué sentirte culpable, ya que no hubo intención ni consentimiento para algo inapropiado. Si te sigue preocupando, puedes hablar con alguien de confianza o un profesional para aclarar esos sentimientos.

— Dolo Boix, psicóloga CV18993